Ageism is often discussed as something that happens to older adults.
It can appear in the way people are spoken to, assumptions about their abilities, or how their needs and opinions are treated.
But ageism also shapes the beliefs we absorb about aging and apply to ourselves and others.
This kind of internalized ageism can be heard in familiar remarks like “I’m too old,” “I shouldn’t wear that at my age,” or “I’m too old to start over.”
These may seem like harmless comments, but they reveal the limits we place on ourselves because of age.
What’s Not ‘Right’ About My Age? is a new learning module from It’s Not Right!: Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults, a pan-Canadian elder abuse public education campaign managed by the Centre for Research and Education on Violence Against Women and Children (CREVAWC) at Western University.
The module focuses on internalized ageism and how deeply rooted beliefs about aging can influence how people understand their own worth, needs, and place in the world.
Margaret MacPherson, a research associate at CREVAWC, will introduce the module during BC CRN’s virtual Provincial Learning Event on September 22.
“Ageism doesn’t just happen out there,” she said. “It’s not just something that other people do. We have internalized beliefs and values about aging and what it means to be an older person.”
What Internalized Ageism Can Look Like
Internalized ageism can be difficult to recognize because many of the beliefs behind it have been reinforced for years.
Margaret points to the strong value our society places on things like independence, productivity, and individuality, which tends to make people believe that needing help means they’re becoming less capable or less valued.
“These are mistaken beliefs about the truth of our lives, because in fact, no one is truly independent,” she said. “We all need each other.”
The World Health Organization describes ageism as how we think, feel and act toward others or ourselves based on age.
Internalized ageism begins with mistaken ideas about what aging means, including assumptions about appearance, ability, success, and who matters.
These beliefs may shape how we judge other people, but they can also become standards we apply to ourselves as we get older.
Recognizing internalized ageism means learning to notice these thoughts and feelings rather than accepting them as facts.
“Mistakes can be corrected,” said MacPherson. “Pay attention to how you feel about getting older and how you treat others based on their age. There are little everyday things we can all do to help create a more just society.”
Why Internalized Ageism Matters to Elder Abuse Prevention
The connection between internalized ageism and elder abuse prevention becomes especially important when beliefs about age begin to affect what someone feels they deserve.
MacPherson said internalized ageism tells you that you’re not as important as younger people. And that belief can influence whether you tell someone when you’re being mistreated, try to set a boundary, or seek help.
Because elder abuse most often involves family members, friends and acquaintances, the older person sometimes hides what is happening.
They may feel shame about needing help, and don’t want to get the person in trouble or have them labelled as abusive. And they may also find it difficult to describe the situation as abusive.
In any case, ageism overlaps with sexism, racism and other forms of discrimination, placing whole groups of people at greater risk of violence and abuse as they age.
“It’s very hard to maintain your sense of worth when society, social media and those around you are telling you that you matter less. Over time, those messages become internalized and erode your sense of self-worth,” she said.
And that’s one reason why internalized ageism belongs in conversations about elder abuse prevention.
Prevention isn’t only about recognizing harmful behaviour. It’s also about supporting dignity, autonomy, voice, and choice, and challenging the beliefs that can make mistreatment easier to dismiss or accept.
What Participants Will Explore on September 22
During What’s Not ‘Right’ About My Age? MacPherson wants participants to examine their own relationship with age and the assumptions they may have learned over time.
She also wants people to understand that ageism is not limited to older adults.
“It’s not just a phenomenon that affects older people. So, it’s an intergenerational issue,” she said.
The session will include scenarios and exercises that help participants recognize how ageist beliefs can show up in their own thinking and interactions.
The goal is to help people become better able to recognize their own internalized ageism, name it, and begin interrupting it.
When asked what she wants participants to think about differently, she said she wants them to think differently about themselves, their own age, and their relationship to age.
MacPherson also wants participants to become more cognizant of how they perceive others.
She said she wants them to “Be more aware of the judgments that you make about whether a person is worth spending time with or listening to because of their age.”
Mistaken Ideas Can Be Corrected
One of the most hopeful ideas behind the new module is that learned beliefs are not set in stone.
When asked what she most wants people to remember about ageism, MacPherson said that it’s “based on a series of mistakes that can be corrected.”
And that means change can begin with greater awareness of how we think about aging, how we respond to our own changing needs, and how we treat people of different ages.
MacPherson also hopes participants leave with a stronger sense of agency.
“Every action you take has an impact of some kind,” she said.
The September Provincial Learning Event offers an opportunity to examine those everyday actions and assumptions more closely, while learning practical ways to challenge ageism in ourselves and our communities.
Join the September Provincial Learning Event
BC CRN’s Provincial Learning Event, What’s Not ‘Right’ About My Age?, will take place virtually on September 22 from 10:30 a.m. to 12 p.m. Pacific time.
Anyone interested in ageism, elder abuse prevention, community education, or respectful support for older adults is welcome to attend.
Register now to join the conversation and learn how recognizing internalized ageism can be one step toward creating communities where older adults are treated with more dignity, respect, and choice.
